Mi chiamo vino blanco
The only phrases Catherine and I know in Italian are
Mi chiamo …. (My name is)
Or mi piace (I like)
For our final night in Milan, we wanted a cool restaurant with amazing food. And that’s how we found Mics Milano, a restaurant not popular among tourists (yet).
Catherine was lucky our waitress spoke English to translate the menu. I was lucky that my Italian grandmother still uses the Italian names when she cooks.
I drink red wine, “vino rosso”. Catherine likes to drink white, ” vino blanco”
During our second course meal and approximate 4th glass of wine, these two little Italian boys come running up to our table. They are speaking so fast. Our waitress shoos them away. “Boys. English. Americana”
The little boys look at each other then at my friend. “The-ah chef-ah….” the first boy starts to say before the second boy blurts out “Hea Lova You!”
The chef proceeded to come out and ogle Catherine. She turns bright red. He’s speaking Italian to her. She’s speaking English. The waitress is trying to translate and I tell Catherine she DOES know Italian. I tell her to say “mi chiamo,” and in her sexiest voice she goes “no chiamo vino blanco.”
Yes, her name is white wine. I’m done.