The obligations of friendship

by julesfric

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.


They say the farther apart you are, the closer you grow. On an island with 8.3 million people I never understood it clearly until now.

We all lead busy lives, and sometimes that means opting for an extra hour of sleep opposed to meeting a friend for coffee. It’s completely understandable. New Yorkers are constantly on the move. And although Manhattan is the center, and what is referred to as “the city” by locals, there are 4 other boroughs that comprise NYC.

In the hustle and the bustle that is work, gym, and more work, reaching another borough by MTA can take anywhere from 10 minutes to over an hour. No wonder distance makes you grow fonder-with physical distance of hundreds of miles, there is no obligation to see a friend face-to-face.

As a friend and I grabbed sushi and a movie last night, my fears surfaced about my eventual move: keeping in touch with my friends.

I love the 40 second phone calls with gossip updates
I love the photos messages of fashion emergencies.
I love the FaceTimes from bed
And I most of all love being able to travel an hour to see a friend if I really miss their hugs.

Moving to another borough, let alone another country poses this problem.But I have to ask, is being in the same city more or less stressful on a friendship? At some point the daily texts, instagram likes, and Facebook interactions need to manifest themselves into something physical. They no longer are enough. But, in another country, they are viewed as a treat.

It’s easy to say “I miss and love you. Wish we could see eachother” when there is no hope for that to actually occur in the near future.

Friendships, even romantic relationships, have their ups and downs. For the time being, I’m going to work on the ones in the outer boroughs (even Staten Island)